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LJ stalking horror - a report by kuribohcoast.

endermelchior is stalking kuribohcoast
endermelchior’s REAL name :	Templeton Farley
endermelchior’s REAL DOB :	05th May 1976
Height :193 cm	Weight : 104.3 kg
endermelchior has dreamt about you :	25 times
endermelchior became interested in you :	28th November 2004
endermelchior’s latest dream about you
Both you and endermelchior are working in an animal sanctuary together. endermelchior suggests that you retire to the empty ape sanctuary for a while for a bit of role-play.
This is how endermelchior describes your relationship behind your back
‘At first I thought it was just friendship, but it’s more than that. The way kuribohcoast looks at me has to be seen to be believed. Either it loves me as much as I love her or it’s terrified. And that isn’t very likely, is it……?’
endermelchior’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
endermelchior has stolen your DVD recorder and will only return it once they receive a tongue kiss from you.
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
In the past year endermelchior has spent their entire life savings on cosmetic surgery in an attempt to look more like you.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
I wanna be your dog baby. Woof fucking woof, I’m coming to get you in my sheepskin jacket.

The Police
No. calls to the police :	20 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"My names kuribohcoast, I’m ringing to report a stalker. Who is it? I don’t know their real name. I met them off an online community called Livejournal. Their username is endermelchior. They’ve been sending me used condoms through the post. Could you please do something about this quickly? My mother opened the last letter. She nearly died of shock. Thanks"
endermelchior’s Police File
There is every possibility that endermelchior is a living incarnation of Satan.

Testimonies about endermelchior

alkazar - Charlie Manson’s long-lost sibling

‘Fucks sake! endermelchior’s been stitched up, that kuribohcoast has always been a right scheming fucker. It’s a disgrace.’

docfrance - The Devil In Disguise

‘All of this is incredibly funny. It goes to show how deluded kuribohcoast really is. I just wish it’d quit the act now and again. It grows a bit tiresome after a while.’

doolierogue7 - Sister Stabatha

‘endermelchior’s obsession with breastfeeding should have acted as an insight into their warped mind. I can’t believe I overlooked it for so long. Jesus.’